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I´ll never tell

Anya:This is the man that I plan to entangle

Isn't he fine?

My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle

Vengeance was mine!

But I'm out of the biz

The name I made, I'll trade for his

The only trouble is

I'll never tell.

Xander:She is the one

She's such wonderful fun

Such passion and grace.

Warm in the night when I'm right in her tight-

Embrace! Tight embrace!

I'll never let her go

The love we've known can only grow

There's just one thing that - no.

I'll never tell.

Spolu: 'Cause there's nothing to tell.

Anya: He snores.

Xander: She wheezes.

Anya: Say 'housework' and he freezes.

Xander: She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe.

Anya: I talk, he breezes.

Xander: She doesn't know what pleases.

Anya: His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe!

Spolu: The vibe gets kind of scary

Xander: Like she thinks I'm ordinary

Anya: Like it's all just temporary

Xander: Like her toes are kind of hairy

Spolu: But it's all very well

'Cause god knows, I'll never tell!

Anya: When things get rough, he

Just hides behind his Buffy!

Now look, he's getting huffy

'Cause he knows that I know.

Xander: She clings

She's needy

She's also really greedy

She nev-

Anya: His eyes are beady!

Xander: This is my verse, hello!

She-

Anya: Look at me! I'm dancing crazy!

Spolu: You know...

Xander: You're quite the charmer.

Anya: My knight in armor.

Xander: You're the cutest of the Scoobies

With your lips as red as rubies

And your firm yet supple-

Tight embrace!

Anya: He's swell

Xander: She's sweller

Anya: He'll always be my feller

Xander::  That's why I'll never tell her that I'm petrified.

Anya: I've read this tale

There's wedding, then betrayal

I know there'll come the day I'll want to run and hide.

Spolu: I lied

I said it's easy

I've tried

But there's these fears I've can't quell

Xander: Is she looking for a pot of gold?

Anya: Will I look good when I've gotten old?

Xander: Will our lives become too stressful if I'm never that successful?

Anya: When I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like David Brinkley?

Xander: Am I crazy?

Anya: Am I dreamin'?

Xander: Am I marrying a demon?

Spolu: We could really raise the beam in making marriage a hell!

So, thank god, I'll never tell!

I swear that I'll never tell!

Xander: My lips are sealed

Anya: I take the Fifth

Xander: Nothing to see

Move it along

Spolu: I 'll never

Tell!